Phil Mickelson and Dale Earnhardt Jr. Should be Best Friends

Can someone please explain to me what the infatuation is with these two losers in their respective sports? Phil has proven time and time again that he chokes down the stretch and manages to make the impossible, possible. Don't agree? How about his peformance on 18 at Winged Foot or his disaster on 13 at Torrey Pines last season. Same can be said for Jr. who again managed to be penalized for pit stop infractions and consequently put him a lap down. As if that wasn't enough, he caused the caution flag that would ultimately decide the final order of the race when the rains came, nice one Dale.

It should be assumed that success breeds popularity when you scan the worlds most beloved athletes, yet Phil and Jr. aint that great compared to their peers. Mickelson does have 34 Tour victories which is 13th all-time and 3 major championships. These numbers represent a hall of fame career in the world of golf, yet they could be better if Lefty would sack up one time and knock off the "I'm just happy to be in contention" bullshit. Are you happy with losing? No wonder your wife cheats on you. Get a new wardrobe, slim down a bit, quit being so fucking happy to be there, and don't show your face on Entourage every again. You ruined my Sunday evening with that cameo, I wonder who Amy had to suck off to get you that appearence. Or maybe Tiger couldn't do it because he was hanging out with MJ in Dubai?

Now lets focus on Dale Jr. Dude, I get it, your dad was the greatest driver of all time and had brass balls. He was a closer and got the job done. You on the other hand are mediocre at best. Your 17 Nextel Cup victories ranks you 40th all time and you have yet to win a Cup Championship. You, like Phil, let your peers consistently beat your ass. Jimmie Johnson and Tony Stewart both double you in Nextel Cup victories and each own 2 Cup Championships. I know everyone loves you and alot of people hate Tony Stewart but when the sun sets, I would rather be in the winners circle chugging milk and making it rain Pepsi all over the pit crew.

I think these two suffer from the Brett Favre Syndrome. They really aren't that great, have a couple of big wins, and the media prematurely ejaculates when covering them.